Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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