I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize