Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
