I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize