so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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