you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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