Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
