Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
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so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
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We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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