Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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