Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize