Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize