our cab driver is having phone sex.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
