I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
