Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
