All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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