I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
