he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
