Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I need to sanitize my soul.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
