i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize