I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
