I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
