You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Someone shit on the floor
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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