He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
you never un-have a 4some
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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