That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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