At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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