ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
