where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
