idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
