look no pants
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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