she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
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i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
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It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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