Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
