Plan B is the new Plan A
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize