bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
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