So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
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we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
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Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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