and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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