i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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