We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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