Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
