Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
