i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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