My nipple is on Facebook.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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