Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
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