Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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