it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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