dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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