question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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