Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
