Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
