I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
