I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
