did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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