Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I puked a lego.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
