To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
