Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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