That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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