3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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