I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She bit a glass in half.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
