Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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