If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize